Think you can write the worst opening sentence to a novel never written? Prove it.
In the spirit of the legendary Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, Ilwaco Cider Company invites you to submit your most magnificently awful first sentence. Finalists will be read aloud with total dramatic sincerity by local theater performers, and a panel of local writers will crown the winners.
Pick a category
Label each entry with one category. Unlabeled entries go into Open.
Romance Adventure Western Swashbuckling Fishing Horror Detective/Noir Vile Puns Science Fiction/Fantasy Open
How to enter
Tap Submit Your Entries above, or email up to three one-sentence entries to ilwacociderco@gmail.com with “Dark & Stormy Entry” in the subject line. Include your name, town and phone number, and label each entry with a category.
Key dates
| Now | Entries open |
| Sun, Nov 1 | Entries due by 11:59 pm |
| Sun, Nov 15 | Category winners notified |
| Sun, Nov 22 | The reading, 4 pm |
Official entry rules
- One sentence only. Each entry must be a single opening sentence to an imaginary novel. Long, winding sentences are welcome, as long as it’s still one sentence.
- Up to three entries per person.
- Original work only. Entries must be your own and not previously published.
- Keep it PG-13. Entries are read aloud to a public audience.
- Pick a category. Label each entry Romance, Adventure, Western, Swashbuckling, Fishing, Horror, Detective/Noir, Vile Puns, Science Fiction/Fantasy or Open. Unlabeled entries go into Open.
- How to enter. Submit online using the button on this page, or email your sentence(s) to ilwacociderco@gmail.com by 11:59 pm on Sunday, November 1, with “Dark & Stormy Entry” in the subject line. Include your name, town and phone number.
- Blind judging. Names are removed before our panel of local writers reads the entries.
- Your rights. You keep ownership of your sentence. By entering, you give permission for it to be read aloud at the event and shared on Ilwaco Cider Company’s social media, with credit to you.
- Prizes. Bragging rights, plus prizes from Ilwaco Cider Company.
- Winners. Category winners will be notified by Sunday, November 15. Their sentences will be performed at the event, and the Grand Prize winner will be announced live after the readings. Category winners are encouraged to attend. You won’t want to miss hearing your masterpiece performed!
